"With eyes closed is the best way to look at the soul"

I am struggling to write anything down. I have been sitting in front of this keyboard for over an hour now. I want to get something down, I do, but the words don't form themselves.

I am thinking about who I am, really. For whatever reason I keep myself an enigma to people. I guess I am an enigma to myself in many ways too because I find it hard to figure out my emotions. Most of my feelings come out not in the words I say, but in the music I listen to. Only then does it seem that the energy called my emotions begin to flow. I guess that's why they call it an outlet.

I have really been roaming around my music playlists this last week. Flighty, that's the word. I have two songs that I want to share. They are both beautiful and I have to close my eyes while listening.

First, Band of Horses - Detlef Schrempt. It has melodic vocals and layered guitar that is just great. Here are some links so you can enjoy it too.

Band of Horses – Detlef Schrempf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYhrCsgHa0k

The other song is from one of my new favorite bands. The name of the band is Bon Iver which in French is Good Winter. Apparently that is a common greeting there in the land of smelly cheese and unshaven legs. The song is along the same lines as the last. The video I thought was interesting too. Sit back and enjoy. (Warning: it does have a curse word in it)

Bon Iver – Holocene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWcyIpul8OE

Dad's Hike Music

A flourish of color and life from greenery and flora comes from deep within a tree, right at the base, the parts unseen. The roots keep the tree grounded and determine how strong the rest of the tree will be. Amazingly, if the roots take hold and bury deep, the life of the tree can be long extended. A person, like a tree is much the same. Childhood lessons take root in our hearts and, to a degree, determine the outer man.

I have really been thinking a lot lately about how the different events of life effect the person we see, whether the ruse or the real. You know this about me already, but I love music. I would guess I listen to music around 25% of the time I am awake. Where does this come from? Is it inherent or learned? I think both for me. One of my youngest memories is sitting in the car on the way to a hike with Dad and Jon. I guess it's not really a specific memory but a mass of memories all jumbled into a feeling, an idea. Dad would have his 60s and 70s pop music turned up. His head, hand, and foot (right hand and foot of course) gyrating in unison, up-down-up-down; sometimes with the beat, sometimes to a beat all his own. I can still hear his voice singing along unabashed. Did mom have a great effect on my love of music? Undoubtedly. But Dad did too, perhaps unbeknownst to him. Over the last many years, occasionally I would hear a song and instantly Dad's voice would pop into my head singing along. Around a year ago I started writing these songs down and finding them. The list is a little long but here it is anyway. If you remember any that I have left off, please let me know. I want the most complete list possible - each drop creates a flood.

Thanks Dad and Mom for instilling in me a love of music.

Electric Light Orchestra - don't bring me down
John Denver - sunshine on my shoulders
Monkees- daydream believer
The mamas and the papas - California dreaming
Tom jones- whats new pussycat
Nancy Sinatra - these boots are made for walking
Donovan - sunshine superman
Donovan - mellow yellow
Eric Clapton - Layla

The turtles - happy together
The lovin spoonful - summer in the city
Dusty Springfield - son of a preacher man

Dusty Springfield - Spooky
Sonny & Cher - I got you babe
The tokens - the lion sleeps tonight
The rolling stones- paint it black
Creedence Clearwater - have you ever seen the rain
Creedence Clearwater - fortunate son
The who - baba O'Riley
Bob Dylan - knocking on heavens door
Van Morrison - brown eyed girl
The animals - house of the rising sun
The rascals - a beautiful morning
The hollies - long cool woman

Grand Funk Railroad - Some Kind of Wonderful

The Knack - My Sharona

Little River Band - Lady

Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street
Steppenwolf - magic carpet ride
Steppenwolf - born to be wild
The byrds - turn turn turn
Jefferson Airplane - somebody to love
Strawberry alarm clock - incense and peppermint
The doors - light my fire
The doors - hello, I love you
Stealers wheel - stuck in the middle with you

The Rolling Stones - Satisfaction

The Beatles - Yesterday